- Glenn Beck hosted his last show on television. Like any other news program, he admitted that The Glenn Beck Show bought chalk by the tub.
- Michele Bachmann officially kicked off her campaign in her hometown of Waterloo, Iowa. Starting a campaign in a town called Waterloo isn't actually the funny part. No, that would be when she said she hoped to bring the spirit of another famous Waterloo resident, John Wayne, to the campaign trail. Only problem, the famous John Wayne from Waterloo would be serial killer John Wayne Gacy, not the movie star. Really brings a new meaning to the phrase 'killer campaign instinct.'
- In other Bachmann news, Bristol Palin called her out for stealing Sarah Palin's look. Because Palin was of course the first female politician to ever wear a red top. One can only hope that this gets settled once and for all in a Walk Off, Zoolander style.
- Presumably upset that Bachmann's been upstaging him on the crazy front, Herman Cain pledged to eliminate the minimum wage. Which to be fair, could probably be done under his other pledge to veto any bill longer than three pages.
- Not to be outdone, Texas Governor Rick Perry let it be known that he thinks Medicaid, the Clean Air Act and School Assistance are all unconstitutional. If he hopes this might boost his chances jumping into the Republican Primary late, he might want to look at this poll which says that Obama would even beat him in his home state.
- Conservative commentators let it be known that removing tax breaks on corporate jets is class warfare, while eliminating Medicare and Social Security is just fiscally responsible.
- It came out that recently re-elected Wisconsin Supreme Court Justice David Prosser is under investigation for attempting to strangle a fellow Justice during deliberations over the constitutionality of Governor Walker's union busting bill. Understanding the need to appear calm and rational after such accusations, he followed it up by ripping a microphone out of the hands of a reporter trying to ask him questions.
- Speaking of which, Governor Walker admitted that maybe the reason people are upset with his union busting is that he gave no indication it was coming. Fortunately, voters are likely to get a do over as signatures for his recall can start being collected in November.
- Last and certainly least, Thaddeus McCotter is planning to announce his intention to run for the Republican nomination. If you're anything like me and assumed that Thaddeus McCotter was a Confederate general you learned about in high school, you'd be wrong. He's the Michigan Congressman who gave this valuable lesson on translating "Democrat Speak". My personal favorite is that when we say "diplomacy" what we really mean is "magic," if only because I'm pretty sure that means Hillary Clinton is the Headmaster of Hogwarts.
Enjoy the long weekend everybody!
I expect a Monday Makeover. Don't think, that just because it's a holiday, you have the day off.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I will miss Glenn Beck. And I would totally watch the Palin/Bachmann Walkoff.
Nice job.
ReplyDeleteI have a question and a comment:
ReplyDelete1) I watched the "Democrat Speak" video...if I was a member of Congress, would I be allowed to interrupt people when they're making dumb-ass presentations like that one?
2) If I was a member of Congress, I would totally use Madlibs to write new bills. For example:
Democrats plan to raise taxes on the (noun). In doing so, they hope to (verb) the economy. Also, they believe that (noun) should be allowed to get married. And it is widely understood that (noun) is/are causing global warming.
patdonahoeiscrazy:
ReplyDelete1. Sadly no, you'd have to actually sit and listen to all of it, or more likely not be in the room at all because there's no real reason for you to be until the vote is called.
2. I think it's cute you don't think that's how they already write bills.