Friday, August 12, 2011

Friday Freakshow Roundup: Perry, People, and Public Schools

In the political news system, the people are represented by two separate yet equally important groups: the Republicans who do insane things, and this blogger who mocks them. These are their stories:

  • It would be easy to make fun of Rick Perry for his poor performance in college, but that was a long time ago and it's kind of a cheap shot.  It would be easy to point out that Rick Perry's former  moderate stance on immigration is going to be an albatross around his neck like healthcare is for Mitt Romney, but it would be a shame to attack the guy for the only halfway sane thing he's ever done.  It would be easy to attack Rick Perry for the religious extremists he calls his friends, but who amongst us has not called Oprah "a forerunner to the harlot movement."  No, instead I'm just going to point out that it appears he was a member of a Neo-Confederate Secessionist Organization.  That could be a problem.
  • I don't know why writing about Rick Perry reminded me of this, but GOP Senate Candidate in Nebraska Jon Bruning compared Welfare recipients to "scavenging raccoons."
  • Ironically (and unsurprisingly), Herman Cain finds himself taking a beating in the Republican primary for becoming less bigoted towards Muslims.  Sometimes you can't win but for losing.
  • In our last piece of race-related news of the week, just check out this Fox News Headline, I wouldn't want to spoil it for you.
  • We're going to slide right past S&P blaming the Republicans for the credit downgrade (don't worry the rest of the press will too), and instead focus on the fact that 2004 Romney argued to S&P that Massachusetts credit rating should be bumped up because they'd responsibly raised taxes and closed loopholes.  I don't think there's a stopwatch fast enough to time how long it'll take Romney to reverse himself on that one.
  • Speaking of Mitt Romney, he told a crowd today that it would be wrong to raise corporate taxes, because "corporations are people."  To be fair, some of Romney's best friends are corporations.  I'd hate for him to think I was picking on him though.  He's already mad at Obama for planning to attack him, the rest of us just call that "campaigning."
  • Leading the way into the more bizarre segment of the Roundup, Huckabee thinks that Obama should hire Donald Trump to replace Tim Geithner, because that would "shake things up."
  • While I'd be ok putting them all on a rocket and jettisoning them off into space, I'm not sure I can get behind the Tea Party's hatred of NASA and their new slogan "To Infini-TEA and Beyond."  No one should be allowed to do that to Toy Story.
  • I want to be clear that this is really Congressman Thaddeus McCotter.  I also want to be clear that Thaddeus McCotter is actually his real name, and not some prank he's pulling on the country.  And so this is really Thaddeus McCotter, who is really running for President, making bizarre breakfast puns about being left out of the Republican debate last night.
  • I'd hate for my favorite reader Michele Bachmann to think I'd forgotten her.  First, everyone needs to read this New Yorker article because it's simply fantastic.  Then people should watch these clips from a documentary Bachmann made 10 years ago about how public education is going to lead to a second holocaust and liberals are corrupting math to mind control our children.  There is no bottom to the rabbit hole.
Have a great weekend everybody!

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