Friday Freakshow Roundup: Nukes, Harassment, and Romney Robots

In the political news system, the people are represented by two separate yet equally important groups: the Republicans who do insane things, and this blogger who mocks them. These are their stories:

• Herman Cain is worried that China might develop nuclear weapons, also worrying him are the War in Vietnam and those Beatles who are driving all the girls crazy.

• Speaking of China, Jon Huntsman's dad totally thinks if his son were running for President there "he would have already won the election."

• Then again they're both probably better off than Rick Perry, whose latest pastor endorse is on record as believing that Hitler was sent by God to punish the Jews for killing Christ.

• Trying to find the right response to his sexual harassment scandal isn't the easiest thing for Herman Cain.  First he tried claiming that "the voice of the people" would be louder than those trying to destroy him....which was met by silence from the crowd.  Now he's blaming Rick Perry for the leak and feels that he deserves an apology, but Perry shouldn't just apologize to Herman Cain, he needs to apologize "to America."  I think I'm going to start one upping him and start demanding anytime someone apologizes to me that they also apologize "to humanity."

• Of course to be fair, Cain's not the only one struggling with how to respond to his repeated history of sexual harassment.  Rep. Joe Walsh thinks it's just further evidence that "everybody's got stuff" and that "the American people need to grow up."  Rand Paul thinks that it's part of a troubling trend where "people now hesitate to tell a joke to a woman in the workplace, any kind of joke, because it could be interpreted incorrectly.  I don't.  I'm very cautious."  Of course that might have more to do with the fact that the last time Rand Paul "told a woman a joke" it involved him kidnapping her, tying her up, and forcing her to worship a bong.  Women, am I right?

• A Georgia militia plotted to bomb and perform a bioweapons attack on IRS and ATF buildings "like Timothy McVeigh."  How come the people who call for racial profiling always seem to ignore the threat of conservative white guys?

• Mitt Romney believes he's "been as consistent as human beings can be", presumably because he was built that way.  His robotic ways have pissed off conservative writer George Will who thinks it's wrong that Romney "takes his bearings from data."  Good thing robots don't have emotions, because I think that one might have hurt.