Closeted Countdown: Segregating the National Guard, Pat Buchanan, and Romney's Homophilia?

I've long believed that the only thing that could motivate someone to dedicate their lives to homophobia is deep self-loathing. So start the countdown timer until these folks get caught with a gay prostitute:

• Republican Oklahoma State Rep. Mike Reynolds wants to bring back Don't Ask, Don't Tell to the National Guard because apparently while the Federal Armed Forces can handle having to work with those icky gays, he believes the National Guard isn't up to it.

• Republican Tennessee State Rep. Richard Floyd is sponsoring a bill to ban transgendered individuals from using bathrooms and changing rooms, explaining: “I believe if I was standing at a dressing room and my wife or one of my daughters was in the dressing room and a man tried to go in there — I don’t care if he thinks he’s a woman and tries on clothes with them in there — I’d just try to stomp a mudhole in him and then stomp him dry."  Now I'll confess I'm not entirely up on my Tennessee slang, so I'm not 100% sure what "stomping a mudhole" in someone entails, but I feel it's safe to say that Rep. Floyd is caring around a lot of repressed anger.

• Pat Buchanan knows who to blame for his suspension at MSNBC: militant gay rights groups.  So I just want to say from the bottom of my heart, "thank you militant gay rights groups, you're so close to making another one of my predictions come true, keep up the good work."

• Some of you may have noticed that I have a minor obsession with local Southern California radio hosts John Kobylt and Ken Chiampou (probably related to having to listen to the John and Ken Show when carpooling home from high school).  Those of you who are also familiar with them will be as unsurprised as I was when I heard them the other day saying: "Gay guys control the fashion industry and the casting industry and the whole Hollywood look. And gays like bodies that remind them of a 14 year old-boy. Guys like curves. Guys like curves. Absolutely, positively. It's biological, because a woman with curves looks like she can bear your children successfully and that's biologically what a man is looking for. So sexually a guy is much more turned on by a woman with curves than these 14 year old-boy stick figures. And that's how I know for sure, I don't need to do any research or any proof that it's gay guys who control the entire casting industry."  Unsurprised, but disgusted.

• Finally, a South Carolina Evangelical Pastor has come out against Mitt Romney because, "In obedience to the Judeo-Christian Scriptures, most South Carolinans and I have a sane and healthy homophobia, while Mitt Romney has a very bad case of homophilia."  I'll leave you to ponder what a 'sane and healthy' phobia is.