Friday Freakshow Roundup: Sunday is Kind of Like Friday Edition

In the political news system, the people are represented by two separate yet equally important groups: the Republicans who do insane things, and this blogger who mocks them. These are their stories:

• Some people would question the wisdom of Mitt Romney, who already has a problem with people believing he hates the poor, standing on stage with Donald Trump, who literally made the words "You're fired" his catch phrase.  To Fox News, "It's almost like Donald Trump is Uniting America, which makes him the true hero."

• Of course Rush Limbuagh would take offense at that criticism of a Republican candidate, because "our nominee could be Mother Teresa, and they would paint her as a prostitute with 15 illegitimate kids."

• Which still doesn't explain how Romney got his ass handed to him by Rick Santorum on Tuesday.  Don't worry though, Romney can explain it.  First of all, his campaign is quick to point out that Santorum spent a lot of money (though Romney did spend 41x as much).  And the reason no one is turning out to vote for Romney, is because they're so satisfied with him there's no reason to go and vote for him (of course using this same logic, I am now going to claim that I am in fact winning the Republican Presidential Primary).  Sadly the truth is much more boring, Tony Perkins is right and Romney just hasn't excited the fanatical base of the Republican Party.  And that's going to cost him.

• Sean Hannity wants us to know that "if Obama is reelected, it's the end times in America as we know it."  Which is why Michele Bachmann wants us to know that she "was the perfect candidate."  And while that shows an amazing lack of self-perception, Newt Gingrich manages to say something true without meaning to: "A Gingrich Presidency would be very controversial."  Luckily, it's also not going to happen.

• CNN's Erik Erickson is angry that President Obama would dare to have a National Prayer Breakfast where he would "pervert God's Word" by suggesting God would like us to take care of poor people.  The President should know his place, or as Fox News put it, he "should go back to burning the taxpayer funded incense to whatever pagan, foreign deity he's worshipping."

Sorry for the delay everybody, but I'm getting back on track.