Friday, April 6, 2012

19 Reasons (and Counting) to Vote for Rick Santorum

So the Duggars have decided to endorse Rick Santorum and release an ad supporting him:


Let's actually examine those 19 Reasons:


  1. Rick and Karen Santorum have been married for over 21 years.
  2. The Santorums are raising 7 precious children and they have one in heaven.
  3. Senator Rick Santorum will fight for small businesses and bring American jobs back home.
  4. Rick cares about my future!
  5. UNINTELLIGIBLE BABY GURGLING
  6. He wrote and led the charge on the bill that ended partial birth abortions
  7. He's an honest man and not a flip flopping run of the mill politician
  8. The son of a veteran, Rick believes in strong national defense.  Peace through strength.
  9. Senator Santorum was a Tea Party kind of guy before there was a Tea Party.
  10. He's a defender of traditional marriage.  Protecting the core of our families.
  11. Rick led the fight on welfare reform.  One of the largest cuts to any federal entitlement program.  He knows how to cut government waste.
  12. Senator Santorum has consistently stood for family values and he lives them.
  13. Rick has a bold plan to balance our budget in 5 years.  Cutting waste of our tax dollars.
  14. He believes in securing our borders so we can deal with the immigration challenges in our nation.
  15. Mr. Santorum has an A+ rating from the NRA.  And he will defend our gun rights.
  16. Rick Santorum will fight for the Keystone Pipeline.  Helping bring energy production and jobs to America.
  17. He believes in defending our Constitution and the freedom of every American.
  18. Senator Santorum believes a strong economy starts with strong families.
  19. He will only confirm judges and justices who understand the value of every human life and don't legislate from the bench.
  20. He's a very nice guy and he's funny too and he smiles a lot.
  21. He's a daddy and he loves his children.  And his little Bella loves him so much.
  22. I like his sweater vest.
Now lets put aside that #1, 2, 5, 20, 21, and 22 have absolutely nothing to do with running for President.    And that #3, 4, 7, and 17 are platitudes said about every candidate for President ever, while #9, 10, 12, 18, and 19 are platitudes said about every socially conservative candidate for President ever.  #8 is just straight up Fascism (seriously, "Peace through Strength).  #6 and 11 are actually solid factual reasons to vote for him, assuming that's your thing (though people who use child tax credits to avoid paying any taxes should probably be concerned by someone promising to gut welfare).  And that leaves us with Rick Santorum's campaign promises (#13, 14, 15, and 16).  Which consists of cutting welfare (again), securing the border, protecting gun rights (which are all too clearly not under attack), and fighting for the Keystone Pipeline.  Sounds like winning issues to me!

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