- Because Republicans are the party of family values, Ann Coulter suggests that "Maybe it's time...to go after the Obama children." And heeding this not at all disgusting immoral advice is the candidate representing the Religious Right, Rick Santorum, who decided to attack 13 year old Malia Obama on where she spent her spring break (bonus xenophobia points: it was Mexico!).
- Meanwhile Dr. Keith Ablow (the psychiatrist who thinks Gingrich cheating on his wives will make him a great President) has finally 'diagnosed' Obama: "He's got it in for this country."
- Speaking of Republicans and their love for scientific integrity, a new study shows that just 35% of self identified conservatives have "a great deal of trust in science." So that's pretty much everything wrong with the Party right there. The rest of what's wrong being summed up in Republican Senator Saxby Chambliss thinking the real problem with politics is that too many Americans are able to watch what politicians are doing on tv.
- I lied, the biggest problem with the Republican Party is that it's reached the point that Rick Santorum is giving major foreign policy addresses at the Jelly Belly headquarters because Ronald Reagan liked jelly beans. For the record, if it hadn't happened already, that's when you can be sure they crossed the line between honoring Reagan and creating some kind of bizarre religion around the man.
- Or maybe it's that Arizona Republicans decided that scrubbing the internet of "offensive" content is more important than the First Amendment.
- Then again, the fact that Herman Cain, who's under investigation by the FBI, and Rick Perry, who apparently spent his time in the campaign high out of his mind on pain pills, were both considered frontrunners and viable candidates is pretty damning too.
- Though the fact that Florida Republicans have sold their souls to the NRA preventing police from banning handguns from the Republican National Convention in Tampa this summer coupled with their Stand Your Ground law means some nut is almost certainly going to shoot a protestor is pretty terrible (but hey, at least they're able to ban "pieces of string more than six inches long").
- But really, the most damning fact about Republicans is that the best they could do was Mitt Romney, who thinks it would be a good idea for President Obama to release transcripts of every conversation he's ever had with a foreign leader. Because classified information, national security, and basic courtesy aren't actually things anymore.
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