- It's time to wrap it up fellow environmentalists, Pat Robertson is on to us and has crafted an argument so brilliant it exposes our secret agenda and disproves science all at once: If mankind is causing global warming, why is Mars so much hotter when it doesn't have any SUVs? I can't argue with that. Not because he's right, but because thinking about what he just said gives me a headache.
- And Arizona Republicans have decided it would be a good idea to allow anyone to bring a gun into a public building. What could possibly go wrong?
- Apparently Newt Gingrich is a little touchy about being banned from Fox News. How touchy you ask? He stormed out of an interview with a college newspaper when asked about it.
- Republican West Virginia Senate candidate John Raese wants you to know that him having to put a sticker on his buildings saying they are a "smoke free environment" reminds him of something: "Remember Hitler used to put Star of David on everybody’s lapel, remember that? Same thing." Personally, he just reminds me of an idiot.
- You don't have to be a big sports fan to know that it was probably stupid of Republican Massachusetts Senator Scott Brown to take money from Yankees' President Randy Levine, given that the last Massachusetts Senate candidate to insult the Red Sox was the woman he beat last time.
- In case you were wondering if "Judicial Activism" was actually a thing or just what conservatives call it when the Courts do something they don't like, it's the second one.
- Now to be fair, Rick Santorum could have sent out an attack mailer against Romney a week after dropping out because he's an incompetent idiot who forgot to cancel the order. But the fact he still hasn't endorsed Romney leads me to believe that maybe, just maybe, there's still some bad blood and fun to be had.
- Since it was Ann Romney's birthday this week, I'd like to give her the gift of some free advice: When you're trying to drum up false outrage about 'an attack on you as a mother' it's best not to go around saying things like: "It was my early birthday present for someone to be critical of me as a mother, and that was really a defining moment, and I loved it." It makes it seem like you're, well, trying to drum up false outrage. Which is counterproductive to actually succeeding at drumming up false outrage. Anyway, Happy Birthday!
- Finally, he wouldn't really be Mitt Romney if he didn't find increasingly new and interesting ways to prove that he's never actually interacted with anyone worth less than a million dollars before. Which might explain why he thought telling a professional baker that his cookies looked like they were bought at 7/11 was a compliment. Though it doesn't explain why he participates in the noble sport of horse dancing (not as a rider of course, that's for the lower classes, Romney's an owner), that's just weird.
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