Friday, May 4, 2012

Friday Freakshow Roundup: Romney's Got 97 Pivots, but a Chance Ain't One

In the political news system, the people are represented by two separate yet equally important groups: the Republicans who do insane things, and this blogger who mocks them. These are their stories:
  • The good folks over at Buzzfeed have tallied it up, and so far Romney has made 97 attempts to pivot towards the general election.  Shockingly though, these attempts by the "etch-a-sketch" candidate have frightened the Republican base, which then freak out and forces him to move back to the right to assuage their fears.  It's almost as if Romney has screwed himself by trying to be all things to all people.
  • Finally, Rush Limbaugh is trying to push the conspiracy theory that Sharia Law is in effect in America and that it allows you to "make love to your dead wife for six hours."  Now this is of course false, and offensive to Muslims.  And really, as someone whose been caught smuggling illegal viagra into the country, Rush knows that if you have an erection that persists for more than 4 hours, you should consult a doctor immediately.

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