Monday, July 9, 2012

Mitt Romney: Malfunctioning Robot or Beat Poet?

Now I'm aware that in the past I've gotten a lot of mileage out of "Romney is a Robot" jokes.  Now that's mostly because he makes them painfully obvious and, well, sometimes I get lazy and take the easy joke when I can find it.  And so when Romney got asked what he thought of a child's homemade lemonade (the fact that Romney has insulted enough supporters food for this to be a gotcha question deserves further exploration) and responded with "Lemon. Wet. Good.", you might be expecting me to make another "Romney is a Robot" joke.

But you see, I don't think a mere robot joke covers "Lemon. Wet. Good."  It's too beautiful, too elegant, for a mere robot to come up with.  I think that maybe, like Pinocchio and that robot who thought he was Batman before him, Romney wants to exceed his programming and become a real boy.  Philip K. Dick once asked "Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?"  And I think todays equivalent must be "Do Robots Write Beat Poetry About Lemonade?"

Lemon.

Wet.

Good.

But lest you worry that this growth might turn Mitt Romney into an actually good person, it's important to remember that even talking about lemonade he can't stop himself from lying.  And the worst part is it's clear that little boy knows Romney hates his lemonade:

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