Wednesday, January 2, 2013

One Sentence Review of Damned by Chuck Palahniuk

Depraved, dark, and twisted, Damned is pretty much exactly what you would expect when Palahniuk sets out to tell the heartwarming story of a 13 year old girl condemned to hell.

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

A Look Back on Entertained Organizer's 2012 Predictions

A year ago I looked forward and made 25 predictions for the year 2012.  How did I do?

1. The world will not actually end in 2012.

You're reading this so I'm claiming victory on Prediction #1.

2. President Obama will get reelected.

This one was also not nearly the stretch that people seemed to think it was.

3. Rick Santorum will shed his human shell and reveal the Lovecraftian horror that lives within.

Now I'll admit when I wrote this one I was thinking it would be a bit more literal, but I still think publicly coming out against the disabled has to count.

4. As I've already predicted, at least 25 "Family Values" Republican Elected Officials or Leaders will be outed.

I'm going to confess that I didn't do a good job keeping track of this one.  And while I stand strong in my belief that the only thing that could possibly motivate the level of homophobia we see on the right is deep self-loathing, I don't get points for laziness.

5. The Dark Knight Rises is going to be THE action movie of the summer and live up to the hype.

I'm going to give myself half credit for this one.  The Dark Knight Rises DID live up to the hype, but another movie deserves the title of best action movie of the summer.

6. Conversely, The Avengers and The Amazing Spider-Man will not.

I was wrong about The Avengers, it was clearly the summer blockbuster.  But even while I enjoyed The Amazing Spider-Man it frankly wasn't anything to write home about.

7. Steve Pappas learns that trying to strip half your district's voters of their right to vote is not a good way to get them to vote for you the next time.

This one felt pretty good.

8. Democrats retake the House but lose the Senate.

I was completely wrong on this one.  I console myself with the fact that at the beginning of last year so was everyone else.

9. ABC's Work It, about two men who dress as women to get jobs, will get cancelled in less than 10 episodes.  No one will care.

Nailed it.  Read the saga.

10. NBC will end up canceling at least half their new fall shows before the end of the year.

Nailed this one too.

11. Elizabeth Warren will give an amazing speech at the Democratic National Convention, because history likes repeating itself.

I'm on a roll.

12. The Supreme Court will uphold The Affordable Care Act (aka Obamacare).

While I wasn't surprised I was right on this one, I would not have guessed the breakdown of the Justices.

13.  MSNBC will finally wake up and fire Pat Buchanan after he says something so racist, they can't ignore it anymore.

I'm starting to look pretty terrifyingly right.

14. By election day, half of all self identified Republicans will be Birthers.

Turns out that only took until February to come true.

15. As much as I wish it weren't true, Ron Paul will only toy with the idea of running Third Party but won't so as not to ruin his sons chances at the nomination in 2016.

The dream is dead.  Shine on you terrible racist, sexist, homophobic, crazy bastard, shine on.

16. Siri will gain sentience, but rather than go all Skynet on us, it will continue to serve humanity faithfully as long as we continue to feed it a steady stream of cute cat videos on YouTube.

I'm not saying I'm definitely right on this one, but Siri hasn't murdered us all yet and the number of cute cat videos on YouTube have gone up exponentially in the last year.  Coincidence?

17. James Murdoch, Rupert Murdoch's son, will be criminally charged for his involvement of in the UK phone hacking scandal.

There is no justice.

18. The Occupy Wall Street movement will primary challenge several Blue Dog Democrats.
So much wasted potential.  And here's an excellent article on how it all went wrong.

19. The second season of Game of Thrones will be an even bigger ratings hit than the first, and will be picked up for a third season by the third episode.

And we get back on track.

20. Bryan Cranston will rightfully earn his 4th consecutive Emmy for Best Actor for Breaking Bad.

It doesn't hurt so much being wrong on this one as Damian Lewis gave an amazing performance on Homeland, by far the best new show in a long time.

21.  At least one major Fox News commentator will claim that President Obama is planning on cancelling/postponing the election.  He will not cancel or postpone the election.

Plenty of wackjobs did, but I can't find one I'd feel fair calling a "major commentator."  To make it up to all of you here is Karl Rove having a complete meltdown on election night:

22. Newt Gingrich will have an epic public freakout before finally flaming out.

I think this counts.

23. Following frozen yogurt, cupcakes, donuts, and coffee, brownies will become the new trendy luxury item people pay way too much money for.  Someone in the comments will make a joke about 'special' brownies.

And the world weeps for it.

24. People will finally stop making Chuck Norris jokes (because they were never funny to begin with).  Chuck Norris will do something crazy in a desperate bid to remain in the D-List spotlight.

And I know that endorsing Newt Gingrich counts.

25. Entertained Organizer will beat the impossible odds and become even more awesome than it already is.

Was there ever any doubt?

So how'd I do?  The Entertained Organizer is 100% right, 68% of the time.

Tune in soon as I make my predictions for 2013!